healing from a toxic relationship

9 Things I Learned After My Toxic Relationship

bre's personal journal toxic relationships Oct 20, 2023


Towards the end of my toxic relationship I was in a fog. Hopeless, anxious, and unsure what was even real (aside from the very real shame and confusion I felt).

When I look back on my self then, I have such immense compassion because I've now finally found the truth of who I am.

I've found clarity and integrated my suffering. And I can see the pain she was in and how she was using the tools she had (albeit maladaptive) to do the best she could.

Choosing to learn and grow from painful experiences takes serious courage.

Choosing to become the best version of yourself with the intention to NEVER go back into the madness and pain of chaotic relationships is life changing work.

So if you are in a similar place to where I was, confused on how to move forward, I offer you these bites of wisdom that came from my experience:

  1. Relationships don’t have to be HARD
  2. The relief that came from my constant anxiety outweighed the fear of being alone forever
  3. I could never have loved my ex into his potential
  4. I wasn’t crazy, I was manipulated
  5. My intuition had always been right
  6. I wasn’t too needy
  7. I am capable of securely attaching to someone who has also done their work (and spoiler...healthy men EXIST!)
  8. It is possible to learn how to speak my needs and get them met (even with a lifetime of never doing so)
  9. I would find myself and my light again even though I felt like I'd lost her forever


Yes, leaving is hard. And staying is also hard.

The decision is yours, and all I can do is offer the truth to what I never believed was possible.

Because healthy love exists and you don't have to settle. And babe, you CAN find yourself again.

Now, I'm in a healthy relationship with a conscious, respectful, gorgeous man (inside and out) that feels insanely passionate, calming, and like home all at once.

There are no games. No confusion. No fear.

I stand for you. And until you can hold the reality of a confident, self-assured, strong badass self who is deserving of a relationship built on respect, I will hold it for you.

Always in your corner 🫶🏻.

Soul Hugs,


PS. When you are ready for support, I am here for you. Schedule your free session here.



Join my email list... (don't worry, this is spam-free)

Get educational and inspirational content, free offers, and so much more goodness sent directly to your inbox!

Be sure to add [email protected] to your contacts so all the goodness doesn't take a hard left into lost-email-land.

FREE Guided Exercise

Gain clarity around a relationship that's making you feel "less than" so you can empower yourself to regain your happiness (without needing to change your parter)!

get it here
Join my email community

Receive inspiration, education, special practices, + invitations to help you hold healthy, mature love.